The Alternate Reality Bizarro Inauguration

Congrats To The GOP On Reagan’s Ninth Term In OfficeImage
I try to admit when I was wrong. And I was wrong about you guys. Since we’re all going to watch Ronald Reagan inaugurate his ninth term tonight, I thought it would be a great time to come clean. You Republicans did it. You absolutely dominated presidential politics for the last three decades, because your policies worked. No question.
Even Reagan himself – how good he looks for his age (What is he, 102 years old?). It’s a testament to your genius. When you announced massive deregulation of the healthcare industry in this country, I thought it was a terrible idea. I thought it would result in a nation of desperately poor sick people filling up our emergency rooms so pharmaceutical companies could gouge us. I didn’t understand that when you just get the government off people’s backs, you unleash productivity. The results are the kind of powerful, cheap technologies that can keep us all alive well into our second century. Wow! It’s just like with your other deregulation measures. We now have full employment, great housing, and a middle-class standard of living that’s the best in the world. Tomorrow I’m taking a trip to Disneyworld-Kabul in my new Chrysler Patriot – it’s a flying car that runs entirely on gumption. Imagine that. I’m going to celebrate by listening to that new Peggy Noonan book on the Pope; the neural-speakers that beam her words directly into your head come standard. What a country! I don’t mind admitting my mistakes. Because you and the Gipper have done so much good for us all.
Many of your ideas were counterintuitive to me; that’s why I resisted them I guess. I didn’t think if you let everyone carry a loaded firearm and stockpile automatic weapons it could possibly be safe for our parks and schools. I didn’t think we could continue a policy of military intervention all over the world without creating a security nightmare. I didn’t think you could lower taxes without massive deficits. I didn’t believe global warming would go away on its own, or that women would be happier if we repealed Roe v. Wade. And I definitely didn’t think we could cure gay people with the power of prayer.
I am perfectly willing to admit I was nuts. Nuts about all this. You people in the GOP were smarter than I was. And to my friends in the Democratic party, who will watch the inauguration of our first half-android president with nothing but bitterness and a determination to sabotage the government… I just want to say this:
You’ve been losing, because you’re out of touch. You need to face facts. You need to live in the real world, not this ideological fantasy you’ve created. You need to grow the hell up.

(note, I had a lot of trouble getting wordpress to do what I want…I’m not familiar with the format yet…I tried to publish this 4 times and the final version disappeared somehow…I wanted to make sure that the source for the original piece I adapted it from got credit, a writer named Paul Bibeau who has a great blog called Goblinbooks) 


4 thoughts on “The Alternate Reality Bizarro Inauguration

  1. I want to make sure that you all understand that I adapted this piece from the writer, Paul Bibeau. I am using a new freeware graphics program called GIMP and it made me crazy yesterday when I was doing the graphic RoboReagan…I tried to post it here using the easy post option of wordpress, but I couldn’t figure out how to de format it…so I tried to do it 4 times…then I posted the post script with the credit….but somehow, that version was eaten by wordpress, I amended it to day.

  2. While Reagan controlled the WH for 8 years, it is mixed bag after that.
    The Dems controlled the House 20 of the 32 years to now. The Senate
    was evenly divided, 16-16. A Democratic President, Bill Clinton, and a Democratic House and Senate aided and abetted the destruction of much
    of the New Deal of FDR. Yup, “not a dime’s worth of difference.” Reagan never touched the core FDR programs, like Social Security, Banking, anbanking/finane. However, Bill Clinton ended FDR’s welfare program, which is amajor contributon to the lack of welfaree during this Great REcession and he permitted Glass/Steagle to be written out of our laws enabling the banking crisis of 2008 and the resulting Great Recession. And,
    we are being asked to support another Clinton.

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