Ostrich for Christmas

It’s a big bird!  I wonder how long it takes for an ostrich to bake in the Christmas oven?  Surely most kitchen ovens couldn’t handle such an enormous bird, so I’d imagine that ostrich would be sold by the pound as opposed to the entire carcass.

Yet, I wonder, are there are grains of sand embedded in its gizzard or other odd organs from which ostrich gravy is concocted?  The head-in-sand bit, you know.  Do they really stick their heads in sand or is that a myth?  That question will remain a mystery, in the ‘trinity’ category.

So, who had ostrich for Christmas dinner yesterday?  Hmm. Not too many hands went up.  My aunt roasted a good goose each Christmas when I was a kid, but we never ate there, thankfully. In the Christmas Story, the family had Chinese duck.  We had turkey and ham.  Edible stuff without too many wild thoughts about said animals.

What about head-in-the-sand dinner conversations?  How many had that at the dinner table yesterday?  [More hands are raised.]

We didn’t.  Not a word about religion was uttered.  Nada. Gar nichts.  There wasn’t even a manger scene in the house. No blond blue-eyed baby, no light skinned mother bent over said baby.  No shepherds, no angels, no cows.

Yet, surely, all across the land yesterday, table conversation must have turned to that scene, the subject of 2 of the 5 New Testament writers- the stories that don’t match.  Of course, how long of a conversation can one have about that ‘story’ anyway?

A much more interesting conversation might have surrounded this AP news story that came across the wires the day before: Vatican rehabilitating Galileo- Church recasting the most famous victim of its Inquisition as a man of faith.  Yes, that’s the headline.  Gulp!

Head-out-of-the-sand, please.  It seems that the church works in mysterious ways, though that’s nothing new.  So, the man imprisoned for life, the one with the ‘H’ branded on his forehead, is recast as ‘man of faith.’

Man of faith?  Hell no!  He was a man of science who pooh-poohed the idiotic earth-as-center of the universe concept and was locked up by the oh-so righteous church authorities because of it.  Get this- “Pope Benedict XVI paid tribute to the Italian astronomer and physicist Sunday, saying ‘he and other scientists had helped the faithful better understand and “contemplate with gratitude the Lord’s works.'”

Anybody want to parse that statement?  What the hell does that mean? The highly superstitious Christians of his day wouldn’t even dare look through the double glass device, fearful of seeing the Devil himself.  And now Galileo is hailed as a person who “helped the faithful better understand and “contemplate with gratitude the Lord’s works.”

Eat your ostrich!

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3 thoughts on “Ostrich for Christmas

  1. There is an observatory in the Vatican. I saw an interview recently with the Vaticans official astronomer. He was an aged priest with ornate optical equipment that might have been state of the art in 1870.

    This “rehabilitation” of Galileo is part of Pope Bennie’s attempt to make the church hip…you know attract the younger “hip hop” crowd. Sort of like Mike Steele and the Republican Party. The Pope, who has just trademarked the Brand “Pope” (REALLY), is now considering a marketing deal with NIKE. Pope Shoes, Pope Hoodie Sweats, and a tie in with the Japanese Hello Kittie line…

    Now there will be a cartoon version of Bennie…Hello Bennie watches, purses and fashion underwear will soon be in the hippest stores right up there with Dolce and Gabbana…
    Nobody does BLING like Hello Bennie!

    We had Confit de Canard for Christmas dinner….simple but things we like!

  2. Confit de canard est la spécialité traditionnelle du sud-ouest de la France. Le canard est un oiseau d’eau et de la graisse de canard est radiacally différent de celui de la graisse de poulet. Il s’agit d’un gras oméga-3, qui est réellement bon pour vous!
    Gras oméga-3 se dissout le cholestérol produisant des problèmes qui matières grasses provoquent la santé.
    C’est pourquoi cette région de France a le plus faible taux de maladies cardiaques en Europe.
    Confit est faite par la cuisson lentement les parties de canard dans la graisse de canard. C’est la façon dont les pauvres conservé le canard à travers l’hiver. Il a été scellé dans la graisse.
    Les pièces conservées sont réchauffées et soufflé dans le four et la graisse est utilisée pour faire les pommes de terre sautées. Nous finissons les pommes de terre avec le persil et l’ail. C’est un repas composé d’un roi, mais il a été inventé par les pauvres.

    J’aimerais un jour à le préparer pour vous.

    And until that day, you might want to check out thebrainpolice, where I have previewed the entire vatican marketing plans for the upcoming season!

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