It’s a big bird! I wonder how long it takes for an ostrich to bake in the Christmas oven? Surely most kitchen ovens couldn’t handle such an enormous bird, so I’d imagine that ostrich would be sold by the pound as opposed to the entire carcass.
Yet, I wonder, are there are grains of sand embedded in its gizzard or other odd organs from which ostrich gravy is concocted? The head-in-sand bit, you know. Do they really stick their heads in sand or is that a myth? That question will remain a mystery, in the ‘trinity’ category.
So, who had ostrich for Christmas dinner yesterday? Hmm. Not too many hands went up. My aunt roasted a good goose each Christmas when I was a kid, but we never ate there, thankfully. In the Christmas Story, the family had Chinese duck. We had turkey and ham. Edible stuff without too many wild thoughts about said animals.
What about head-in-the-sand dinner conversations? How many had that at the dinner table yesterday? [More hands are raised.]
We didn’t. Not a word about religion was uttered. Nada. Gar nichts. There wasn’t even a manger scene in the house. No blond blue-eyed baby, no light skinned mother bent over said baby. No shepherds, no angels, no cows.
Yet, surely, all across the land yesterday, table conversation must have turned to that scene, the subject of 2 of the 5 New Testament writers- the stories that don’t match. Of course, how long of a conversation can one have about that ‘story’ anyway?
A much more interesting conversation might have surrounded this AP news story that came across the wires the day before: Vatican rehabilitating Galileo- Church recasting the most famous victim of its Inquisition as a man of faith. Yes, that’s the headline. Gulp!
Head-out-of-the-sand, please. It seems that the church works in mysterious ways, though that’s nothing new. So, the man imprisoned for life, the one with the ‘H’ branded on his forehead, is recast as ‘man of faith.’
Man of faith? Hell no! He was a man of science who pooh-poohed the idiotic earth-as-center of the universe concept and was locked up by the oh-so righteous church authorities because of it. Get this- “Pope Benedict XVI paid tribute to the Italian astronomer and physicist Sunday, saying ‘he and other scientists had helped the faithful better understand and “contemplate with gratitude the Lord’s works.'”
Anybody want to parse that statement? What the hell does that mean? The highly superstitious Christians of his day wouldn’t even dare look through the double glass device, fearful of seeing the Devil himself. And now Galileo is hailed as a person who “helped the faithful better understand and “contemplate with gratitude the Lord’s works.”
Eat your ostrich!